Today after school went to orchard with jasmine. we went to far east, she wants to buy her cardigan.. when i'm at far east suddenly i felt something missing. just not very used to it. especially when walking pass zinc shop. after far east we went to wisma atraim there to had our lunch at food republic. i still prefer vivo's hokkien mee coz wisma there de weird weird de.... after orchard we bus-ed down to bugis. jasmine wanna buy her hp socks. after buying go walk walk around. then we decided to go bugis village. haiis , oh my god~ i saw "him".. i was super blank.. and i keep hold on tightly to jasmine's hand and ask her " how how?~ HOW.. die~" today was the first time that me and "him" actually walk pass each other so closely and some more at bugis village. mostly i will only met him at macpherson area.. of course i pretend din saw him. but what jas told me was actually that group of people was looking at the both of us. i hack care, i continue to do my window shopping with jas.. saw yunrui.. mua haha.. and near 7 jas took bus h0me.. and i walk h0me too..
On the way h0me. . my mood became ultra low. all the memorise flash back.
i really recall back a lot.. how he treated me. i really really really don't deserve it.
had u ever feel how hurt my feeling was when i noe u lied to me? i pretend i dunno.
i REALLY just give in to u. i tolerate for 2 weeks. i can remember clearly what u said to me.
and the last msg i send u online u din even reply me.
nvm, because at that point of time i've already collapse, don't have the strength to care whether will u reply.. obviously im going to cry soon.
recalling back how high h0pe u gave me and h0w i face the reality when i know u actually was telling a lie to me. U NOE THE FEELING MA?!?!?! i hardly could breath.
walking around bugis street i really very scared i will met him again.
until now. i still dunno why that time ue wanna tell me all those things , and then lied to me. from sec 3 until now. h0w many false h0pe had u given to me?
and how foolish i am to keep on returning back to him .
sometimes i was thinking. muz i thank g0d that u treated me like this?
c0z this time round i really gave up on u. NEVER will i return back to u AGAIN.
on 15thJune2008, that will be the last time i returning back to y0u.
2 weeks of pain, no, should be THREE years of pain. no matter h0w sorry u are, u also can't heal that deep cut inside my heart. Because u really let me suffer ALOT. REALLY ALOT which u don't even give a damn to me but to "her" .. but anyway, u din even feel sorry for this i think.
I'm just a stupid substitute in ur eyes . and in school whenever i saw "her"
u cant imagine how the feeling of agony came hunting me back again.
my life was actually simple and carefree. but until the day u "came" back to me.
my whole life was ruined by y0u. its takes time f0r me to heal..
please g0d. don't ever let me see him on the street...
i don't know how am i going to vent out again. my mind now is so blank, so confused. now im not in the mood f0r anything.. just wanna be alone.
whatever i've d0ne , n0ne will appreciate it. my agony , my phobia is back..
i'll just take a break.
你所带给我的那些伤痛回忆 , 你永远都不能补偿回给我的...
[ " 当我回到家时我痛哭了一场 , 还有谁能来安慰我 " ] . . . . . . . .
