i hate the feelings

mummy i'm fine, don't worry... yesterday until today made mummy worry, coz yesterday something happen to me. i can't control my feelings on the phone with jas den i cried out. and today morning mummy feels that something not right with me. yes i'm not right. my heart aching to the core~ the pain is back.. i noe crying out makes nothing different. but really very pain. haiis. wonder why am i always the one finding troubles for myself.. and im that sensitive, can't change de ba? hundreds , thousands , millions of words and things inside my heart can't describe it out. really very very very torturing. locking myself in my room had become my daily habit. talking to my mummy about my daily happenings have been stop since that day. in school some things makes me pek chek. i din show it out. but i will still remain quiet. my toleration is dem good eh? i got no one to vent all my pain out. blogging blogging and blogging! blog is the place where i can vent out only. sucking year 2008! really sux! from the beginning of the year till now really nothing good happen. yea it happen but it din last long. wonder how can i forget those pain in the past. wonder how can i stop thinking and worry about it. wonder when will the real me real heart real life back to me. WHEN?! can the god tells me? NO :) once again i'm gonna say. IM TIRED. i'll juz let it be.. the pain im suffering now u forever wont understand it. and u wont understand how am i feeling right now...